the place for women to be

i-Soul
is all about time for me - a place to come and be restored, be listened to, inspiration and solace for the inner you.

What is i-soul about ? well it’s about the inside bit of you – the bit none of us really like to talk about even with our closest friends but it’s the important part you which we think you might need a bit of help with.  This is not about mental health this is about well being and maintenance of that state.

Busy busy busy ….. how many of us are guilty of this constant state of play – using travel brochures and faraway websites to ease the stress and create a few minutes of fantasy now and again.

But how about something different something to inspire you and help those darker days when depression feels close but not close enough for medical intervention.  

Bad Cop Day
Everything is wrong – we all have days like this – sometimes bursting into tears helps but not always and then if we do, it's usually alone and makes us feel worse because tears are weak aren’t they ? – No they’re not but how about heading for i-soul  and using one of the remedies to give you some support :

Themes we are starting with are :

I’m Useless
Mistakes, they are just a fact of life and you’re completely normal making them. The trick here is to get a piece of paper write down a good-cop, bad-cop list – why did you make a mistake, did you realise that it was a wrong decision, bad choice or was it a genuine don’t know. How ? – how can you make yourself feel better ?  

It’s Not My Fault
Guilt.... the worst kind of emotion. But what if you are getting blamed for something and it really wasn't you. Think coping strategy....believe in yourself - look in the mirror and tell yourself you are not to blame. It does work - its the affirmation of hearing the words out loud rather than just carrying the weight of the "fault" around with you.

Give Me Some Confidence
Magic stuff required here - confidence is a trick to learn. If you really cannot handle something its about fear, fear takes control and whoosh you're hurtling through the longest tunnel on the darkest night trying to stop is they key here. Think brake - then breathe slowly in and out for ten to fifteen breaths - Write down what you have to do - it looks much easier on paper.

I can always think of ten or twenty women who are so much more confident than me - but are they? Or have they just worked out a perfect way to act confident and handle themselves - You can have confidence you just have to take time to teach yourself. Be gentle ...... you CAN do it.

So you need to be restored  ?
In what way  .......

Your energy, enthusiasm and interest in anything, has life just become too hard ? What do you want to do that you can’t do ? 

Isn’t that really it …..i-woman wants to be the place for you to come – just look at what made me start my own restoration project - i-woman :

Busy working mother …… flat out at work, flat out for my child, but what is there left for me ? Not a lot I can tell you however, something keeps me going 

I want to start my own business – I keep motivating all and everyone around me but I never devote any of that energy towards myself and when I do it’s usually when I’m feeling so frustrated with life that it’s the worst possible time to open the self investment account.

If you feel capable then you probably are – the media is packed with examples of other peoples success, bling and do you think I can do that – or I can do that a lot better than that. Discontentment breeds ever deceasing circles of self doubt and diminishing confidence.

How quickly do you want something to happen ? Today - next week - next month - next year ?

So you need to be listened to ?
Try and answer honestly some of these statements :

Who doesn’t listen to you ? your boss, your partner, your children, your friends is there no one to listen to you  ?

Or are they hearing you but not listening to what you’re saying

Why don’t they – they think you have the answers already ?

Do you want them to encourage you

Do you feel they’ll just agree with you

Do you want sympathy  

Think about what it really is – can you be open enough to tell someone what you really want to say

What do you want from them

Why should they listen to you  

So you want inspiration ?
For what ?

What do you want to achieve ?

Ideas are a dangerous thing – day dreaming your life away is also a pretty unproductive use of your very valuable life  

Just want to be happy or do you have a clearly defined goal you want to attain

Is it a whim ?

Is it just fantasy – ….. let’s not go there

That holiday philosophy ….. next year things will be different 

Well lots manage this – and i-woman is here to help with this point in your life that may need a little encouragement and give it realism –

Here’s a little game that's good to play : (exercise on people/what they look like/what you think they’re like)

With a friend(s) – describing game 

Take a pen and paper and a mirror

Look at your face ….. write one word to describe the following :  

Eyes say :                                            What do they like to eat :

Mouth says :                                         What emotion is showing :

Face says :                                            ?????????

The purpose is to tell us about matching an interpretation to the reality of the situation. If possible revisit this exercise on a different day - how visible are our inner feelings ?

Next, name a few real life examples to add to the inspirational theme :

• Business woman who impress you
   

• What's your idea of the perfect family Woman
   

• Who in your mind has a lifestyle near perfect for a single woman

This is the starting point for i-Soul - invest in yourself - YOU are the most important person to you !